Heeeeeey ya'll! It's me, Britney! What. is. UP yaaaaaaall?! I just wanted to let ya'll know that you won't be seeing this Big Bad Bald Biotch for a lil while. See I gots to go get the treatment, to get off the Wild Turkey and nose-candy. It has been a crazy ride these past couple months ya'll. Do you mind if I smoke? See, it all started when I kicked Kevkev out. At first I was SO excited ya'll. I mean, I hadn't had a moment to just be Britney for such a long time ya'll! And at first it was So Fuuun. My manger Larry Rudy took me back, and we went ice skating in Rockafella Place and went shopping at the Gap and I got to eat with silverware and he took me to get my hairs cut. It was so nice. Then me and Paris started hanging out, and everyone loves her for being a pantyless slut, so I thought that you would all love me for baring my bukiluki, but you didn't yall. Ya'll laughed at me. And those laughs hurt. Paris wouldn't take my calls and Sean Preston and Braden or Jaden or Sutton or whatever I named him wouldn't stop crying and JUSTIN BROKE UP WITH THE AMAZON SKANK BUT STILL WON'T TAKE ME BACK AND WE ALL GO A LITTLE CRAZY SOMETIMES, YA KNOW!? Sorry. Anyway, ya'll didn't love me, but the pills and booze did. For a little while. But today I put on a green wig and tried to leave the house to buy Kools and tequilla, and Mama blocked the door and told me I have to get clean or she'll give my kids to Jamie Lynn. And I said I don't think she can do that, but I was so tired I laid down to take a nap, and next thing I know I'm in PromiseLand or something. So, I'm just gonna relax and let my hair grow back, and I'll see ya'll in 28! Have fun with the Anna Nicole Smith thing!
