Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Is 10,000 sq ft enough?


Look, at SCK we understand you need lots of space. I mean, you just got promoted to junior vice president! You deserve lots of room to spread out. You and Kelly have been married for over 2 years now, and she's started to put the pressure on to move out of your Lincoln Park condo and build a house in Glencoe or Glen Ellyn or Glendale. Naturally, you're going to need that house to be of a certain size. You have to impress your old buddies from Phi Kappa Delta when they stop over for those summer BBQs you'll be throwing, and Kelly sure as shit wants to make the other girls at her Advertising Agency jealous. We get it. 6,000 sq ft. doesn't even come close to big enough to make up for your tiny, tiny penis. 8,000 is getting close, but it does it over-inflate your ego enough? No, not quite, we didn't think so. 10,000 is definitely the way to go man. You'll have plenty of room for the 68" Plasma, your Goldens will have lots of room to run around, you'll be right on the golf course, and Kelly will finally get off your ass about only having 2 closets. It'll be awesome.

And we're cool with that. It's just that we can't find a proper term to define your new rockin' abode. Sprawl sounds too sexy, McMansion sounds far too delicious. We were contemplating DoucheCastle, but it seems a bit lacking. Suggestions? Comment.

Exercises in isolation

1 comment:

M. Charles Szott said...

I would say either "Starter Castle" or "Training Brauhaus."

"It probably took them longer to tow that mcmansion to bashful beaver lane than they took to actually build it."