Tuesday, August 28, 2007

If the Butterscotch Stallion can't make it...

what hope is there for the rest of us?

  • Soulless yuppies will have to stay in the warm Starbucks wifi womb for awhile longer. Typing this blog whilst chilling outside of the Daley Center, surrounded by coked up traders and homeless would be pretty sweet. Sigh, someday. [ChiTrib]

  • Jim Mueller has Alzheimers at the age of 38. Maybe you do too? I'm just saying, haven't you been forgetting things lately? [SunTimes]

  • Lance Briggs crashed his car and shaded out of the accident site, perchance alcohol was a factor, blah blah blah. Let's focus on what's important- where was he partying before fucking up his Lambo? Krem and Level. Couldn't he get into Ontourage? [Chicagoist]

  • Indiana is determined to destroy our water and air. [NBC5]

Friday, August 24, 2007

Are we going to Die?

Outside- what a fucking mess. After huddling in a hallway with some writers during the tornado warning, I tried to navigate the flooded and tree-debris filled streets with my trusty VW Billy. Bad was my decision to drive to work, and therefore home. The second line of storms was moving in as I was inching down Clark street, I had just been informed that there was no power at my apt, and so I decided to bail. I cruised it over to various friends houses for some weather-day fun. Arriving home late night, my hood looked like a fancy war-zone. No lights east of Southport, branches and other various shit everywhere, drunk people stumbling around looking confused. Same as usual, but darker. More coming today, so bunker down, fuckers.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Back Yo

PTI- I was busy. I'm SO busy and important. And now I'm bored, so here's a blog:

  • Wait, we have a yellow line? Apparently, and it runs as shittily as the rest of the CTA. [ChiTrib]

  • Macy's Glamorama goes country this year: the store will "reimagined as a chic urban rodeo. There will be mechanical bull rides for charity, "Coyote Ugly"-style bar dancers, branding tattoos and the music of DJ Ruckus". Um, wasn't that hot about 6 years ago? You know, back in the golden era of Kid Rock and the Coyote Ugly movie? [SunTimes]

  • Bad news, crackhead-No more staggering out of the Hunt Club and immediately scoring some sweet sweet smack. You'll have to trek it down to at least Chicago and Rush for your nosecandy. [ChiTrib]

  • Pinkberry is coming to town! Along with a couple other fluffed artificially sweetened air purveyors. [Chicagoist]

  • Because Chicago is truly small town, we totally know murder suspect Pat Ford who killed his girlfriend 3 blocks from the SCK lair on Sunday morning. Sad, messed up, terrible. [ChiTrib]

Monday, August 20, 2007

Headline of the Week

Perhaps my favorite. This year. Thanks to you, CNN.

"Bears eat man at beer festival"


Wednesday, August 01, 2007

It's been awhile...

Because I've been writing stuff for other people. People who pay me, or at least put me in print. I gots to stop giving it away for free! Read the fancy shit: