Thursday, May 24, 2007

The Worst Apartment Ever

Oh Craigslist, what did we do before you? How did we dispose of unwanted futons, find sexy/clean/buff SWMs to meet up with for casual, no strings attached oral, or pass the dull hours at work without your fascinating listings? Today, I was just perusing the New York apartment scene, as I often do, and I came across what must be the single worst apartment in the civilized world. I know, that's a big statement, so let me give you a lil taste. Here is the headline: " 2 Small Rooms for Rent in Apt Full of Cats".


See! Ok, here is the listing in full, because I'm sure it won't be up long. Who could resist the charm of an apartment in Brooklyn that is full of fucking cats!

"2 Small Rooms for Rent in Apt Full of Cats - South Slope

We have two small rooms for rent in a third floor sunny 2 bedroom apartment in South Slope Brooklyn (22nd St Between 5th & 6th Ave).

$500: Faces front of building, 7.5 x 9.5, one window, room for full bed/futon, dresser, closet.

$550: Faces rear of building, 9.7 x 9.6, two windows, room for queen bed/futon, dresser, closet.

The rooms can be furnished or unfurnished as needed.

The apartment is fully renovated. Hardwood floors in the bedrooms and living room. Tiled kitchen, new cabinets/counter. Ceiling fans in the living room, kitchen, and bedrooms so you may not need air conditioning (great cross breeze).

Heat, hot water, and electricity are included (you would pay extra if you want an air conditioner). If you want to use the stove, you will need to put the account in your name(s). There is an un-used cable in the apartment, otherwise there is no cable or internet service included with the rooms.

Please note that the kitchen, living room, and bathroom are shared with my seven cats and their furniture and toys (their litter box is in the bathtub). There is a futon, TV, VCR, and cheap stereo system in the living room. I come and go at all hours of the day and night to play with and care for my cats.

The bathroom toilet and sink in the apartment can be used but to take a shower you will need to go to the bathroom in the finished basement (modern, shower no tub). Dormitory style.

The nearest subway is local R at 25th Street and 4th Avenue but there are excellent connections to most other train lines. Shopping, banks, dining, laundry nearby. On street parking is good. Excellent quiet safe family block with 5th Avenue becoming more Park Slope every day.

Absolutely no smokers, no pets since there are already so many, credit check and paperwork required.

I am the owner so there is no fee. If you are interested, please call Liz at ---- AFTER 12 NOON. I work nights and sleep mornings. "

Amazingly no pictures are included, so I can only guess that the apartment must look exactly like this.


Stacy said...

this is the single best blog ever. it's 3am in Prague and despite my grogginess, this made me laugh so hard - and cry really knowing an apt like this exists and someone - oh yes SOMEONE will subject themselves to this foul foul living...just to live "in New York." you KNOW that's the line: "their litter box is in the you shower downstairs 'dormitory style' " - i wonder if she thought wording it like that would make it sound attractive. i mean for a split second there i almost thought "hey...i mean this isn't all bad - this living can bring me back to college...showering w/flip flops in...errr...a basement...because i'm living with a lady who would rather have cat shit in a bathtub than have a person" LOL!!!

Anonymous said...

Thanκ you foг some οther excellent аrtіcle.
Whеre else may just anybody get that kind of info
in ѕuсh a perfeсt manner оf ωritіng?
I have a presentatiοn ѕubѕequеnt
week, anԁ I'm on the look for such information.

my web site; New Bingo Sites
Also visit my website New Bingo Sites

Anonymous said...

whoаh this blog is exсellent i rеallу liκe studying your artіcles.
Keep up the gоod ωork! Yοu гecοgnize,
many indіviԁuals are looking rounԁ for this informаtion,
you can аid them grеаtly.

Also νisіt my web pаge ... Same Day Payday Loans